Saturday, 6 February 2016
Monday, 1 February 2016
Sunday, 31 January 2016
important of sex in chriastian marriage
Counselor Waylon Ward offers an insightful way to understand the problem, which he calls “the Pickle Principle.” In order to make pickles, we put cucumbers in a brine solution of vinegar, spices, and water. After a cucumber soaks in the brine long enough, it is changed into a pickle. Most of us are like pickles. We sit in the brine of a sex-saturated culture, absorbing its values and beliefs, and it changes the way we think. Even most Christians are pickled today, believing and acting exactly like everyone else who has been sitting in the brine of a culture hostile to God and His Word.
The world’s sex-saturated brine includes the belief that sex is the ultimate pleasure. The message of much TV, movies, and music is that there is no greater pleasure available, and that it is the right of every individual, even teenagers, to have this pleasure.{1} Another aspect of this pickling process is the belief that no one has the right to deprive anyone else of this greatest of all human pleasures, that no one has the right to tell anyone else what is right or wrong about the expression of his or her sexuality.{2}
If the purpose and goal of sex is primarily pleasure, then other people are just objects to be used for sensual gratification. Since people are infinitely valuable because God made us in His image, that is a slap in the face whether we realize it or not. The Christian perspective is that the purpose of sex is relational, with pleasure as the by-product. The Bible teaches that sex welds two souls together.{3} It is so powerful that it is only safe within a committed, covenant marriage relationship. It’s like the difference between the wild energy of lightning compared to the harnessed power of electricity. God knew what He was doing when He limited sex to within marriage!
God wants to get His “pickled people” out of the world’s brine and into an intimate relationship with Him. He wants to change our thinking and beliefs to be in alignment with His.
Sex is God’s Invention! The Purpose of Sex
Sex is God’s idea. He made it not only efficient for making babies, but pleasurable and deeply satisfying. He designed men’s and women’s body parts to complement each other. He created hormones to make everything work right and make us want to be sexual. Unlike animals, whose mating behavior is purely instinctive for the purpose of reproducing, human sexuality has several wonderful purposes. God means for all of them to be contained within marriage.In a lifelong covenant of faithfulness between husband and wife, we can express and enjoy God’s two major purposes to sex: fruitfulness and intimacy. His first command to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28); one very foundational purpose of sex is to create new living beings. Fruitfulness is not limited to having children, though. A mutually loving and serving sexual relationship between husband and wife can produce emotional and personal fruitfulness as well. Both people are nurtured to grow, develop, and soar, becoming more of what God means them to be.
The other big purpose for sex, emotional and physical intimacy, is only possible within marriage. In his little gem of a book called What God Says About Sex,{4} Eric Elder says that intimacy really means “into-me-see.” It is only safe to reveal the fullness of who we are, “warts and all,” to someone who loves us and has committed to be faithful and supportive “till death do us part.” The fullest experience and freedom of sex is found within the marriage bed, which God says to keep holy or set apart.{5} God says that we are to use self-control to keep all expressions of sexuality limited to marriage.{6}
Sex also builds oneness, a mystical union of two lives and souls into one life together. The one-flesh union of sex is a picture of the way two souls are joined together into a shared life. In fact, we could say that sex is like solder that is used to fuse two pieces of metal together. Once they are joined, it is a strong bond that helps keep marriages and families intact, which is God’s intention for our lives. Another purpose of sex is the pleasure that comes from being safe in another’s love. The entire book of Song of Solomon is gorgeous poetry that glorifies married sexual relations.
God also says that an important purpose of sex is to serve as an earthbound illustration of the mystical but real unity of Christ and the church, where two very different, very other beings are joined together as one. This spiritual component to sex is what helps us see more clearly why any and all sex outside of marriage falls far short of God’s intention for it to be holy and sacred—and protected.
So . . . What Does God Actually Say?
A lot of people believe the Bible says, “Sex is fun and it feels good, so don’t do it.” Nothing could be farther from the truth! Sex was God’s great idea in the first place! But God’s view of sex as a sacred and private gift to married couples, as well as a gift each spouse gives to the other, is at great odds with the world’s perspective of sex as simply a pleasure no one should deny him- or herself.The overarching statement God makes is that sex is to be completely contained within marriage.{7} As I said above, sex is so powerful that it’s like the difference between the wild, uncontrollable power of lightning compared to the safety of harnessed electricity in our buildings. God wants us to harness the power of sex within marriage. This means that all other expressions of sexuality are off-limits, not because God is a cosmic killjoy, but because He loves us and knows what’s best for us, namely, not playing with lightning! So God says not to engage in sex with anyone before marriage, with anyone else once we are married, with anyone of the same sex; or with prostitutes, or with family members, or with animals.
God says that sexual purity is a treasure to be guarded and valued. It is a reflection of God’s own character, which is what makes it so valuable. In our culture, many people have been deceived into thinking that their virginity is worthless, something to get rid of. But God says it is special,{8} a gift that can we can only bestow on one person, one time. God calls us to purity after marriage as well by remaining faithful to our spouse. Purity before and during marriage prevents “ghosts” in the marriage bed; comparisons are nowhere as deadly as in the intensely intimate realm of sex. We glorify God in our sexuality by using self-control to stay pure if single, and by loving our spouse sexually if married.
The good news is that purity can be restored if we confess our sin and put our trust in Jesus to forgive us and give us a new, holy quality of life. The Bible promises, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”{9} God stands ready to forgive and cleanse us, and restore our purity the moment we ask.
God says that sex is to be reserved for adults only. Three times in the Song of Solomon, a beautiful book extolling the glory of married sex, it says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires,” which means “until the time is right.”{10} As I minister to sexually broken people,{11} most of them bear the still-painful scars of childhood sexual abuse from people who never should have opened a door to sexual experience. Their entire view of sex has been warped and skewed. God never meant for children to be introduced to sex. It’s for adults. Married adults.
God wants us to actively fight sexual temptation. The battle is harder than it’s ever been because of our sex-saturated culture. He says to flee immorality.{12} In fact, God says to offer not even a hint of sexual immorality.{13} That means that it is a violation of His intentions to engage in phone sex with strangers, or virtual sex in chat rooms and porn sites. The fact that you’re not physically touching another person’s body doesn’t mean it’s not sin, because Jesus said that sexual sin happens in the mind first.{14}
Eric Elder suggests asking a powerful question to help clarify the battle against sexual temptation: will this lead to greater intimacy and fruitfulness with the husband or wife God has created for me?{15} This filter is helpful for both married people and singles. If an action doesn’t build intimacy or fruitfulness, it probably destroys them. Another question to ask is, Can I glorify God in what my flesh wants to do? Can I invite Jesus into what I’m about to do? If the answer is no, God invites us to meet the struggle with His supernatural energy instead of our own puny human strength.{16}
Outside of the safety of marriage, sex is wounding and hurtful, but God created it for our pleasure and delight. In the Song of Solomon, God enthusiastically invites the newlyweds to enjoy His good gift of sex, where He says, “Eat, friends, and drink, o lovers!”{17} In fact, God wants married couples to bless each other by enjoying sex often and regularly.{18}
Are you surprised by what God says about sex?
Why Sexual Sin Hurts So Much
Pastors and counselors will tell you that there is a greater intensity of shame and pain in the people they counsel when the issues involve sexual sin.{19} Paul says that all other sins are outside our bodies,{20} but sexual sin touches you deep in your heart and soul.As mentioned above, it may be helpful to think of sex like solder. God created it to make a strong, powerful bond that creates healthy, stable families into which children are welcomed. But when people fuse their souls through sexual sin without the safety and commitment of marriage, it causes tremendous pain when the relationship rips apart. (Have you ever seen a broken weld? It’s pretty ugly.) When sex is disconnected from love and commitment, it also disconnects the body from the soul. This inflicts deep wounds of shame and guilt on a heart that has been used for gratification instead of love.
Waylon Ward says that sex sins expose and exploit our deepest emotional and spiritual vulnerabilities. He writes, “In the counseling office, individuals rarely if ever weep scalding tears about any other sense of loss like they do for a sexual relationship when it ends. There are soul ties that bind two partners together in unseen ways and there is a sense that part of you has been stolen. There is a hole in your soul where the connection was ripped from you.”{21}
The pickling brine of our culture’s increased sensuality says, “If it feels good, do it. You’re entitled.” But while this belief about sex may feel good, it is most definitely not good for us. Note the runaway epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, and the resulting increase in infertility. Note the number of broken hearts and broken families. Note the alarming amount of sexual abuse. Note the soaring rates of depression, especially in teens, much of which is related to sexual activity outside of marriage.
God invented sex for His glory and our benefit. His basic rule—keep sex inside marriage—isn’t meant to be a killjoy, but to protect our hearts and bodies and relationships and families. He knows what He’s doing, and we do well to follow.
Notes
1. Waylon Ward, Sex Matters: Men Winning the Battle (McKinney, Texas: Allison O’Neil Publishing Company, 2004), 7. This book can be ordered through Waylon’s Web site, www.mercymatters.com.
2. Ibid., 8.
3. Gen. 2:24;1 Cor. 6:15-16.
4. Eric Elder, What God Says About Sex (Inspiringbooks.com, an imprint of Eric Elder, 2006). Contact www.WhatGodSays.com for more information.
5. Hebrews 13:4.
6. 1 Corinthians 6:18.
7. Forty-four prohibitions of porneia (sexual expression outside of marriage, usually translated “sexual immorality”).
8. SoS 4:12.
9. 1 John 1:9.
10. SoS 2:7, 3:5, 8:4.
11. I have the privilege of serving with Living Hope Ministries (www.livehope.org), a support group for those dealing with unwanted same-sex attractions, and the families of those who struggle. (Or who don’t struggle because they are just fully immersed in a gay identity.) I mainly minister to women, for whom a history of sexual abuse is a common denominator.
12. 1 Cor. 6:18.
13. Ephesians 5:3.
14. Matthew 5:28.
15. Elder, What God Says About Sex, 37.
16. Colossians 1:29, Ephesians 6:10.
17. SoS 5:1.
18. 1 Corinthians 7:5.
19. Ward, Sex Matters, 16.
20. 1 Corinthians 6:18.
21. Ward, Sex Matters, 17.
© 2007 Probe Ministries
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Saturday, 16 January 2016
WHAT IS LOVE BY JESUS
Love
Two main postulates of Jesus’ Teachings are the following:
The first one is God-Centredness, i.e. perceiving not
oneself but Him as the principal Foundation of the world, as the Goal
and Meaning of the existence of everything, dedicating one’s own life to
Him, preparing oneself for Mergence with Him, aspiring to this Mergence
and helping others on this Path.
The second one is the preparation of oneself for
realization of the first point through developing emotional love in
relationships with other people, first of all. When this love is
developed, it can be directed to God-the-Father. This will ensure a
quick advancement to Him and Mergence.
It is very important to understand that Mergence with
God-the-Father is Mergence with Him in love, because He Himself is Love,
the state of Love. And in order to achieve this Mergence, we have to
transform ourselves into Love.
The degree of transformation of oneself (as a
consciousness) into the energy of emotional love is the measure of one’s
spiritual advancement (given that one possesses also wisdom and the
consciousness is large enough). (Sternness and emotional severity of
many “pastors” is an indication of the opposite).
Love is not thoughts about good deeds and even not doing deeds that we believe to be good.
Love is emotions, emotional states of the energy of the consciousness.
If one wants to do the deeds of love but is not capable
of loving cordially, then it often results in absurdity: in egocentric
and pertinacious imposing of oneself, in violence against others, and
even in resentment about their reaction: they “don’t understand my
love”, “don’t want to accept my care”…
True love is incompatible with violence (except for
cases when one needs to protect someone from violence, sometimes by
sacrificing oneself, and except for some situations of guiding children
and correcting the behavior of mentally ill people); otherwise it
becomes not love but ravishment. And no normal person wants such an
attitude.
The true love is also not the “stormy” emotions of sexual passion. This is passion, not love.
And, of course, love is not the sheer technique of reaching sexual satisfaction.
The true love is emotions that originate initially in
the spiritual heart. The deeds of true love are done under the control
of the developed intellect against the background of these emotions.
Emotions are not a product of the brain as materialists
taught. Emotions are states of the consciousness. They originate in
special energy organs of the consciousness, not of the body.
The brain indeed reacts to emotional states by changing
its bioelectric activity, because the consciousness interacts with the
body through the brain. For example, under the influence of certain
emotions the blood pressure changes, sweat stands out, the countenance
changes. But these are not emotions, despite the fact that one may find
such statements in textbooks on physiology written by materialists.
These are just bodily reactions to emotional states of the consciousness
mediated through the brain.
In the human multidimensional organism, there are special energy centers (they are called chakras or dantians) responsible for regulation of the states of the consciousness.
For example, thinking activity is the “duty” of the head
chakras. The emotions of anxiety, anger originate in the energy
structure of the upper part of the abdomen. And the emotions of love —
in the spiritual heart. It is located in the chest and occupies (if
developed) almost all its volume.
“Opening the spiritual heart” is the main point on the
initial stage of spiritual development. For the majority of people it is
the first opportunity to experience what love is, and not just to talk
about it. Not before we come to know it, can we understand “on what
language” we should talk to God and to those who are close to God. Only
since that moment, we become capable of finding harmony in relationships
with the world of living nature, with other people. Only then that
which is called “spirituality” may arise in us; without it, there can be
no spiritual Path.
In old times in the Christian movement a method of “opening the spiritual heart” was developed. It is called Jesus prayer. Some seekers achieved the due result with its help [75].
But the effectiveness of this method was low because of the lack of
knowledge about the nature of consciousness and about the structure of
the human organism. This is why only a few of those practicing Jesus prayer achieved success with its help, and even if they did — it was only after years of working with it.
Possessing the necessary knowledge and methods, one can achieve the result after a few sessions [6,8,13].
About cordial love, Jesus and His Apostles said the following:
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God!” (Matt 5:8)
“Enter into your temple, into your heart. Illumine it
with good thoughts and the patience and immovable confidence which you
should have in your Father.
“And your sacred vessels, they are your hands and your
eyes. See and do that which is agreeable to God, for in doing good to
your neighbor you accomplish a rite which embellishes the temple wherein
dwells He Who gave you life.
“If you wish to accomplish works marked with love or
piety, do them with an open heart and let not your actions be governed
by calculations or the hope of gain!” (The Life of Saint Issa,
9:12,13,16)
“Our mouths are opened to you, … our hearts have been enlarged!” (2 Cor 6:11)
“Do not look to your own interests but let each of you look to the interests of the others!” (Phil 2:4)
“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another! As I have loved you, you should also love one another!” (John 13:34)
“And above all things have fervent love for each other, for love will cover a multitude of sins!” (1 Peter 4:8)
“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or
sister is a liar. For they who do not love brothers and sisters, whom
they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” (1 John 4:20)
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God,
and everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God. The one who
does not love has not known God. For God is Love!” (1 John 4:7-8)
“Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one
another… If we love one another, God dwells in us, and His perfect Love
is in us!” (1 John 4:11-12)
“God is Love, and they who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them!” (1 John 4:16)
“Owe no one anything, except to love one another” (Rom 13:8).
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
and have not love, I have become as sounding brass… And though I have
prophecies, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I
have all faith, so as to move mountains, and do not have love, I am
nothing. And though I give out all my goods to feed the poor, and though
I deliver my body to be burned, but if I have not love, it profits me
nothing.
“Love has patience, is kind, love is not envious, is not
puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not seek her own, is not
easily provoked, thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth. … Love never fails, though
prophecies will be abolished and tongues will cease…” (1 Cor 13:1-8)
“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good
to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and
persecute you!…” (Matt 5:44)
“… For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” (Matt 5:46)
“… If you have bitter jealousy and strife (instead of
love) in your minds, do not glory and lie against the truth. This is not
the wisdom coming down from above, but… devilish (‘wisdom’).” (James
3:14-15)
“They who claim to be in the light but hate their brothers or sisters are in the darkness!” (1 John 2:9)
“Let your love be without hypocrisy! Shrink from evil, cleave to good! Be brotherly loving to one another!…” (Rom 12:9-10)
“… You shall love your neighbor as yourself!…” (Matt 22:39)
“Love your friends!… Protect them like the pupil of your eye!” (The Gospel of Thomas, 25)
“There is no greater love than this: to lay down your life for your friends” (John 15:13).
“… Let My joy remain in you, and let your joy be full!
This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you!”
(John 15:11-12)
“These things I command you, that you love one another!” (John 15:17).
Friday, 8 January 2016
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
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